Q. The glossy
information sheet which accompanied my new driving licence warned me to “try
and keep it flat”, “not to deform it by cutting or hitting it” and “not to soak
it”. Increasingly, my attention is being diverted by pointless information
packaged in a way that invites attention. The duller the message, the greater
the marketing subterfuge. Can the law offer any solution to these time wasting
antics?
A. All
content should be colour coded - red, white or blue. Red being worth reading,
and blue being not worth reading. For instance, all legal documents produced by
banks would be defaulted to blue with occasional white and red streaks to
enable customers to hone in on the important parts and disregard the rest.
Productivity would increase dramatically.
Then we could
colour code our politicians and have three parliaments, blue being not worth
listening to. Materials - red, white, or blue produced by politicians of any
hue, would be removed to the appropriate parliament.
With colour
coded TV channels, all the films and shows which receive bad reviews would be
shown on a blue channel giving us all the opportunity to have evenings free of
the usual rubbish.
There would
be anomalies. For instance, some blue jokes may need to be reclassified as red,
and red herrings would become blue. Brides may aspire to red weddings.
In order to
enforce these laws, white and blue judges would be appointed to join the red
judges. Cases would be allocated red, white or blue status purely on
entertainment value.
This is not a
new idea; the US Federal Courts have been colour coding their attorneys for
some time. Submissions from blue attorneys are dismissed without a hearing. It
has saved a lot of time and is being considered by courts all around the world.
Extract from - I'll have the law on you -unmitigated advice on law and lawyers by John Fytit AO, lawyer to be published later this year.
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