Legal cartoons and humorous comment (c) Paul Brennan. All rights reserved.

I decided on 101 reasons as I didn’t want to depress the entire legal profession by having 1,001.
Paul Brennan, Lawyer, Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia

# 65. They can be a little too sensitive

The murderer and the bail application

To be a regular client of a criminal firm you not only need to persistently commit crimes (allegedly or otherwise) but also be caught, often.  As criminals reach their mid 20s many find it difficult to maintain this level of commitment.

In the London criminal firm where I worked as a newly qualified lawyer there was such a client.  Although, in his mid 30s, when he was not allegedly stealing in a violent sort of way he was being arrested for driving offences and assaults.  Eventually, he committed a murder and changed law firms.

My boss who was prone to hysterics, took this badly and marched down the police station with the words “he is not going to get away with this”.  He angrily confronted the alleged murderer in his police cell and insisted that he change back to our firm, which he did.

Next morning, the client was understandably disappointed when my boss sent me to court to represent him. 
The client wanted me to make a bail application and I recall saying “We may not get it” in the hope that he might decide that he would leave it.  He didn’t.

In the circumstances the bail application, apart from the fact that it was refused, went quite well. He was later convicted.

My boss continued to be let down.  The local Italian cafe owner had a 16 year old daughter who was kept on a very short lead.  The father sent her for two weeks of work experience at our firm.  On her first day she agreed to a date with a client charged with administering date rape drugs.  This was quickly cancelled by my boss.  On Day Two she wore less clothing and more make up.  From that point, we all lived in a state of fear of Mafia type reprisals until she was returned safe and sound to the unsuspecting father at the end of the work experience.

Two years later my boss died of a brain tumour.  His increasingly paranoid behaviour did not seem to put off our clients, in fact, they really liked it.

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