Legal cartoons and humorous comment (c) Paul Brennan. All rights reserved.

I decided on 101 reasons as I didn’t want to depress the entire legal profession by having 1,001.
Paul Brennan, Lawyer, Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia

Saturday, August 2, 2008

# 25. They are blessed


Law Firm blessed by Pope: It’s a miracle

The blessing by the Pope of Corrs Chambers Westgarth (“Corrs”), an Australian law firm, has caused lawyers to fear a bid by the firm for cannonisation.“It would give them an unfair advantage”, said one senior partner, “it is the ultimate accreditation”. Traditional law firms, which frown upon promising miracles, are rushing to adopt prayer as yet another type of Alternative Dispute Resolution. “It is more satisfying than mediation, although we are not sure as a business model that there is much money in it”, said a litigation lawyer at another firm. Corrs received the blessing for sponsoring the Catholic Church’s World Youth Day, which was held in Sydney and attended by Pope Benedict XVI. “As far as I am aware, it is one of the few church initiatives suitable for law firm sponsorship since the Inquisition”, said another disappointed lawyer. Cannonisation usually takes years, however it can be expedited. Corrs could set up a “Cannonisation Group” contacting clients to gain evidence of miracles performed by the firm. Although no client is known to have stepped forward as yet we can expect to see “set piece” miracle events such as the “suing of the 5,000” and breathing life into hopeless cases. Partners will be challenged to test their belief that they can walk on water. A vow of silence and retreating to a cave in the mountains seems unlikely. However, a vow of poverty which so many other law firms have been embracing in this current credit crunch could be a winner. A plate being passed round in reception could yield extra revenue for the firm. The Senior Partner, named John is said to have referred to one coming after him, which has fueled rumours of a new charismatic managing partner of even greater power and ability.Younger lawyers at the firm have replaced the usual bowing and scraping to partners with a simple genuflection.“The Catholic Church has been known to reach out and forgive murderers and thieves. However, reaching out to lawyers appears to be breaking new ground. But, we are all "God’s children” explained one church member. However, on being asked if accountants and bankers could be next he said, “Are you kidding?”. The Devil was unavailable for comment.

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