Quiet in the Court!
Nowadays, judges often feel that they
should give the appearance of being impartial even when one party has a
hopeless case.
This impartiality could have been
achieved by listening quietly and politely. However, judges have found it
difficult to restrain their traditional pent up anger, general grumpiness and
twisted sense of humour which has always made listening such a challenge for
them.
Therefore, judges took to criticizing
both sides in what they believed was an even handed manner. In practice, this
usually amounted to launching blistering attacks against anyone who raised
their head above the parapet.
Advocates became fearful to say
anything at all, which only encouraged judges to greater outbursts.
Lawyers became too embarrassed to
bring their clients to Court who turned out to prefer short upbeat briefings
rather than wasting a day at Court. Lawyers began to send clients text message
updates often during the hearing itself.
Lawyers who had always made their
bravest and most confident speeches in conference with their clients at their
own offices, days or weeks before the court case, now wondered, why go to court
at all? So they didn’t.
Client meetings were no longer rushed
and could take all day. Without the oppressive atmosphere of a court room and
in the comfort of their own offices, lawyers started to enjoy advocacyonce
again. They were able to quote Henry V and even Mel Gibson without snide
remarks from the Bench. They even got a few laughs which had become almost
impossible in the Courtroom.
Lawyers were no longer “In Court” when
clients called. They became quite efficient and were able to get on with their
real work. They no longer had to bother reading court rules or old cases; there
was no need to prepare lengthy affidavits and written submissions. Litigation
became cheap and even cheerful.
With the advent of Twitter some
lawyers reduced lengthy reporting letters to 140 characters. But other lawyers
included romantic interludes, car chases, Vampire Ushers and Zombie Clerks in
their reports which were snapped up by publishers and some became best sellers.
Judges promised to be less cranky and
offered 5 day trials in Bali but it was too late. Lawyers had become so popular
that the Attorney General finally accepted that Judges had been to blame all
along and they would all need to go out and get proper jobs.
So ended the Era of the Judges.
Sponsored by Brennans solicitors |
This is hilarious!
ReplyDelete